burstoflight: ({ggr} nate and jenny: the steps)
[personal profile] burstoflight

: Light On

Author: Susan

Rating: PG/K+

Spoilers: Through Gossip Girl 225

Summary: Nate returns from Europe with the hopes of making amends with Jenny.

AN: This was written for the 200th Nate/Jenny Thread at Fanforum. The title of this fic is from the song of the same name by David Cook. Also, I barely ever publish fanfiction, so please be kind. Feedback is appreciated!

Try to leave a light on when I’m gone
Even in the daylight, shine on
And when it’s late at night you can look inside
You won’t feel so alone

Nate entered the penthouse quietly...nervously. He swung the small bag in his hands back and forth, somehow motivating himself for what he was about to do...what he needed to do.

"Looking for Chuck?" a soft feminine voice startled him. He turned and saw her, sitting there on the couch wearing a tank top and jeans, hair long and loose, with her sketchbook perched on her lap. She looked...different...and the same...as before. Masquerade. Chocolates. Birthdays. Street Lights. Fashion Shows. Letters. Heartbreak.

"Jenny," he breathed out. "No...not Chuck. Actually I was looking for you."

"Well, here I am."

"I thought maybe you'd be out or something," Nate said in that adorable way he always said things: a mixture of confusion and curiosity.

"Nah. I'm a homebody these days. Some queen I am," Jenny shrugged, setting her sketchbook on the coffee table in front of her.

"I'm sure you're doing great," Nate reassured her. Almost as soon as the words left his lips, an awkward silence erupted between the two. It could have been very easy for Nate to run away again and just keep things the way they were. Instead, he took those few tentative steps toward the couch and sat down next to Jenny. She looked at him for a moment before breaking the silence.

"So, how was Europe?"

"Hot. Tiring. Miserable. Missed home. Thank goodness I've been there before or it would have been a very unsatisfying trip." It all came out so fast that when he was done, Nate had to take a deep breath before continuing. "I'm just not one for backpacks and hostels."

"How did Vanessa take it?" Jenny asked him curiously, her eyes twinkling with something undefined.

"Vanessa and I...that's not happening again. We decided it was best to break the cycle and stay friends...or whatever," Nate breathed out.

"Oh." Jenny pursued her lips, a little dazed from his revelation.

"You seem surprised."

"Well, it's just that you guys were alone...in some of the most romantic places in the world. It would have only been natural to get back together again."

"It would have been a lie. I don't love Vanessa. I never did. It's not fair to her and it's not fair to me to keep pursuing that," Nate confessed honestly. Jenny looked at him with a mixed expression of hope, sadness, and curiosity.

"Why are you telling me all this?"

“Because when I was in Europe, I had time to think about everything that happened this past year. Between us."

"Nate...," Jenny started but Nate continued. This was the reason why he was here and he wasn't backing down. Not now. Not ever again.

"No, let me get this out. I'm sorry." Nate stopped for a second and allowed them both to feel the weight of his words. "I'm sorry things got so screwed up. I'm sorry I messed things up. I had no right to act like I did at the Snowflake Ball. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that or threw the letter in your face. I'm not a perfect person. Vanessa isn't either. I should have handled the situation better. I was just hurt you never answered my letter. I thought you didn't want anything to do with me."

"That's not true Nate," Jenny assured.

"I know that now." Nate looked straight into Jenny's eyes as he spoke. He wanted to make sure she understood.

"I really wish I would have gotten to read your letter," Jenny revealed in a soft whisper.

"I do too." Nate also revealed. Jenny was surprised at this for a moment, but then continued on speaking.

"I mean things could have been so much different...and even if things wouldn't have worked out, we wouldn't be strangers...like we are now," she said sadly, thinking about how things could have been if fate had steered them a different way.

"I really miss your friendship. I'd give anything to get that back someday."

"Me too." Jenny looked at him again and then slowly reached out to cover his hand with hers. Nate closed his eyes and breathed out. They stayed that way for several moments, both afraid to move...and maybe find out this was all a dream...and that nothing had changed. A charged silence evaded the room and grabbed hold of them both. There's a moment of possibility, of maybe, but deep down they know it is too soon for anything else...so they just stayed still. Suddenly though, Nate moved away and the moment broke, as if he just remembered something really important.

"Oh when I was in Paris, there was this little shop off the beaten path and I found this. It lights up." Nate handed Jenny a beautiful figurine dressed in what looked to be some kind of French royalty. It was sitting on a tiny chair as if it were a throne, staring upwards at the sky. A radiant light surrounded her. She looked unbelievable. There was an engraving at the bottom in French. She ran her finger over it and tried to remember the translation from school, but it was hard to recollect anything with Nate sitting so near and while holding this gorgeous souvenir.

"Fashion Queen".


"That what it means in French. I asked the shop owner."

"It's beautiful."

"It reminded me of you and how you have so much passion and tenacity and love for life...for fashion...for your family and friends. You have this light around you...it's contagious. It’s something that should be protected and admired and encouraged. It would be a shame for it to go out for any reason...any one. That's one of the things I've always loved...admired about you..." Nate spoke in an excited manner, simultaneously gesturing to her and to the small figurine. Jenny could hardly believe he was saying any of this to her. It almost made all those months of them not speaking worth it. Just so she could have this moment with him now. She honestly didn't know what to say. Nate Archibald left her speechless. After a few more moments though, she found the words.

"Thank you so much Nate," she said, slowly leaning over to hug him...even though she wanted to do more. He hugged her back and gently buried his head into her shoulder.

"I just thought you should know that," Nate spoke softly into her shoulder. They stayed like this for what seemed to be like an eternity, but were probably only a few minutes. Unfortunately, it was interrupted by a loud buzzing noise. Nate reluctantly let go of Jenny and fished out his phone from his pants. "It's Chuck. He wants me to meet him for a drink."

"Oh." Jenny looked down, a sad smile on her face. "You should go then."

Nate stares at his phone for a moment before texting him something back, a small smile playing on his lips.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying...I can't because I'm with a friend." Nate declared, dramatically pressing the enter key on his phone.

"You are." Jenny smiled at Nate. His face broke out into a grin as well. It was almost as if it was two years ago and they were back outside those steps on Blair's birthday...but of course it wasn't…they couldn’t be...but even though so many things have changed since that night...they knew they wouldn't let anything come between them again.

They spent the rest of the night talking, laughing, and eating junk food. It eventually turned completely dark throughout the apartment with the only real light coming from Jenny's gift and themselves.

You’ll start my heart again
When I come along

Date: 2009-07-11 12:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sarzworld.livejournal.com

I always like when Nate realized he was stupid, and you wrote in such a simple and beautiful way.
I also love his present and the way he said she had a light around her; so fucking amazing.

You really should write more of these things :D
One word: Amazing ^___^

Date: 2009-07-11 01:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com
Thank you SO much! I'm always very nervous when publishing my fic writing. I'm overly critical. Thank you so much!

I will definitely try to write more in the future! :)

Date: 2009-07-11 12:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cynicalshadows.livejournal.com
I so wish the show gives us something like this, although I have a feeling that they won't ever get around to it because the writers are stupid. Thank goodness we have great writers to give us these moments instead. This was just fabulous. You should seriously write more Susan!

Date: 2009-07-11 01:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com
Thank you!

I know right?! The show sucks. The most we'll ever get is Nate being jealous of Jenny's boyfriend and then him being like "I THOUGHT YOU WOULD WAIT FOR ME?"! WHINE WHINE WHINE! *rolleyes*

Date: 2009-07-11 12:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] black-london.livejournal.com
<3 I adore this!
It has put me in the mood to write :O

GG please stop being stupid and sucking D:

Date: 2009-07-11 01:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com
Thanks bb!!

Now go write me some smut!!
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Date: 2009-07-11 01:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com
Dude if you loved this...just go read "Can't Stay Away" and "Sparks" and if you're not a shipper, I'll give you your money back. LOL.

Check out all the fic here:


Date: 2009-07-11 02:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tomlinsons.livejournal.com
I never read NJ fics because I mostly read CB but when I saw that you wrote something about them I couldn't resist.
Hun this was so lovely i adored it, it was simple and complex at the same time and I would love season 3 to play out like that but I know it won't happen :/
Please replace the writes with an NJ fan!!!

Date: 2009-07-11 02:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com
Awwwww thank you bb!!!! And yeah fuck the writers. They probably won't have Nate even realize Jenny's there until he's exhausted all his other options, realizes he didn't have sex with her yet, and then gets pissed when she's not waiting for him. *rolleyes*

Dude if you want to read GREAT NJ fic check out "Can't Stay Away" which does have CB undertones, and the sequel "This Love, This Hate" focuses on both BC and NJ.

Also Sparks, How Soon is Now?, and My Only Offer.

Check out this brand new master list I threw together for the 200th Thread:


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From: [identity profile] tomlinsons.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-07-11 02:30 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2009-07-11 02:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] treehillover23.livejournal.com
That was so cute. I loved it so much. I am totally having a fangirl moment right now.

Date: 2009-07-11 05:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! That means alot coming from such a great writer like you!

Date: 2009-07-11 02:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ginevragirl.livejournal.com
This is so amazing Susan! Taylor and Chace were acting it out in my head as I read it, lol, and they would do so well with a scene like this. So so well. Chace is on top form whenever he's around Taylor. I hope we get a scene like this. :)

Date: 2009-07-11 05:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com
Oh thank you so much!!! I could definitely see CT performing it...too bad the writers are incapable of writing them anything decent.

Date: 2009-07-11 02:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] naturellebella.livejournal.com
This is just the sweetest thing ever! Gosh, if this ever happened on the show, I'd surely faint. Great job S. I especially like the part where Nate texts back Chuck and says he's going to spend time with his friend. :D

Date: 2009-07-11 05:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com
Thanks K!!! :) Yeah, I would die too. DIE ALOT. LOL.

Date: 2009-07-11 05:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] youfadesofast.livejournal.com
this is precious! i lovedloved it. it's great to see such a fluffyawesomecute fic from ya s. the last line especially is perfection; i could picture it so well.

Date: 2009-07-11 05:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com
Thanks bb! *HUGS* That really means alot coming from you.

Date: 2009-07-11 05:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gglover16.livejournal.com
This was amazing! So in character and so cute. I think you should start publishing your fics because this was really good. I've actually wanted to write NJ fic but I've been really hesitant because they have this perfectness about them and I don't want to ruin it.

Date: 2009-07-11 05:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com
Thank you!!! I should...but I'm like crazily critical of my work...and I'm lazy as hell. The only reason this one got done at all is because of the deadline of the 200th thread...which BTW, have you seen it? If not, you should...it's gorgeous!

You should write!!!

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From: [identity profile] gglover16.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-07-12 08:37 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2009-07-11 07:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dbpchick.livejournal.com
Susan this is wonderful!! You right NJ so well!!

NOw, I miss their friendship even more :(

Date: 2009-07-11 08:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com
Thanks so much!!!!!

Me too! :(

Date: 2009-07-11 08:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dearagony.livejournal.com
As much as I adore NJ, I admit I don't really read much Nate/Jenny fanfic but this makes me want to read some.

What I love about this fic is how you captured Nate and Jenny's essence flawlessly. You've captured NJ in a way I think that only can be expressed from a person who holds them close to her heart, and that in turn, makes the story just come alive in a special way and lets the audience see why Nate and Jenny really are best suited for each other and why it would be a crime if they never TRULY come together in the future.

The show gave us a tiny spark of Nate and Jenny but it's like you lit the fuse. (with this fic) You allowed us to see how much greatness and beauty is waiting to be told between Nate and Jenny.

Date: 2009-07-11 08:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com
Good Lord that was epic Shauna! *SMOOCHIES* Thank you so much. I really hate how this show gave us a taste of them and them ripped them away. They are so amazing together. The show needs to light the fuse as well...but who knows if that will ever happen.

Thanks for leaving feedback. :)

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From: [identity profile] dearagony.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-07-11 08:44 am (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-07-11 09:00 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2009-07-11 06:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blackwhitecity.livejournal.com
Awww. This is what should happen in season 3.

Beautiful. I like the way Nate is nervous, and that gift was so cute.

N/J need to be together. A girl can dream...

Date: 2009-07-11 08:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com
Thank you SO much!

And yeah I wish this would happen and that the would be together. Such missed opportunities. :(

Date: 2009-07-12 03:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] katayla.livejournal.com
Aw, sweet! I love Nate's gift. And this would be a great beginning/re-start for the two of them. :)

Date: 2009-07-12 03:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com
Thanks so much!!! It would be wouldn't it? :)

Date: 2009-07-12 07:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hauts-talons.livejournal.com
I love it!

Really nice work, bb. :)

Date: 2009-07-12 08:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com
Thank you bb! :)

Date: 2009-07-12 11:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xheartlikeminex.livejournal.com
This was great! I really wish something like this would happen on the show, but I won't hold my breath. ;)

Date: 2009-07-12 11:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! Yeah I won't either. LOL.

Date: 2009-07-16 12:00 am (UTC)
bluelilyrose: (Batgirl & Robin ~ Sexy Superheroes)
From: [personal profile] bluelilyrose
This is absolutely brilliant, Susan, and you've done an amazing job of capturing both Jenny and Nate.

I know you linked me a while back to some NJ fics but I, unfortunately, never got around to reading them (due to a lack of time) so this is the first NJ story I've read and what an introduction. Seriously, you need to write more fic 'cause a) you rock at it and b) with the writers tossing Nate and Jenny to the wayside, we need more fic goodness to turn our frowns upside down.

Great job with this piece and I hope we'll definitely be getting more from you in the not too distant future.

Date: 2009-07-17 02:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com
Thank you very much! That means alot coming from an awesome writer like yourself. I will definitely try to write again.

And the writers are seriously lame. BLAH.

If you ever want to read more NJ fic, here's a whole master list I compiled of the best stuff out there:

Edited Date: 2009-07-17 02:16 am (UTC)

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From: [personal profile] bluelilyrose - Date: 2009-07-18 04:36 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-07-18 06:27 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2009-07-18 05:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] noldinaa.livejournal.com
That was amazing! This needs to happen in the show :)

You're a really good writer btw :)

Date: 2009-07-18 06:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com
Thank you so much!!!!!! :)

Date: 2009-07-29 03:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hellokitylovr15.livejournal.com
Hi. Sorry to post here, but you don't have a mod email for the Jennyhumphrey's community.

You guys are using my photos, and I'd like to see that they are being properly credited. But I was denied membership...


Date: 2009-07-29 10:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com
Wait was that you?! Don't take this the wrong way, but I thought you were a guy? LOL.

You were denied membership because I didn't recognize you. I'm sorry. It's a precautionary measure. If you would like to be included just reapply again.

But yeah we know those couple we used were yours. We posted the link several times. :) How did you even know BTW.

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From: [identity profile] hellokitylovr15.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-08-10 04:37 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2009-09-18 12:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lostemilie.livejournal.com
I know you aren´t adding people right now but I thought I could try anyway ;) If you don´t know it: this is TessShipper from Fanforum :D

Date: 2009-09-19 05:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com
Sure. I'll add you. :)
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From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-09-22 02:07 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2009-10-16 01:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] takemeriver.livejournal.com
hey i am adding you as a friend and i will probably read your fanfics to gossip girl. love that show! =D
i'm stacey, btw.

Date: 2009-10-16 04:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burstoflight.livejournal.com
Thanks so much, but I'm not really writing fic anymore. You're better off joining [livejournal.com profile] nate_jenny for your fic needs. :)

Date: 2010-07-04 03:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] claudia-12.livejournal.com

Greatttt story! :) I loved it.

Date: 2010-10-26 07:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aadni85.livejournal.com
I liked it! It reminded me how cute they were in the first season even if they were just friends, I wouldn't mind they being just that as long as they get this kind of cute scenes together XD

Date: 2016-11-16 02:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fuilcroman.livejournal.com
Title Light On Author Susan Rating PG/K+ Spoilers Through Gossip Girl 225 Summary Nate returns
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